Marriage is definitely like a roller coaster ride. There are highs, lows, times that feel bumpy, times that make you feel excited, or scared, and times that make you wonder “why the heck did I step into this?” What you can always guarantee is that your partner is in that seat with you. There have been times where I felt like he was up front seeing and enjoying everything in front of him, while I was in the back getting whiplash. Although, that was just my perception. Once we were better at communicating our feelings to each other, I knew that whatever section of the roller coaster we are in, we face together.
What I wish someone had told me was that sometimes in marriage you can be lonely. You go in with the high that you are about to take on the world together and that all previous problems you had before magically disappear once you say “I do.” What you don’t realize is the challenges you face when you live with someone and find quirks or things about them you may not have noticed before. When we got married I moved to my husband’s hometown—5 hours from where I lived my whole life. Our first year married I missed my family a lot. I wondered every road trip what It would be like to move back. I would be lying if I didn’t say that first year of marriage was HARD, but it got easier with time and the challenges that you learn from. I also fell in love with Fredericksburg and the friends and family who I have found here.
Adding babies in the mix—that’s a whole new facet to this crazy journey. Having two boys under 3 has been WILD. I’ve told this to people before, but I didn’t know much I loved Josh until I saw him with our kids. He is so patient. He gives so much to me and our family. He job requires crazy hours, and sometimes when he has to be gone on nights and weekends it can feel lonely, but then I remember that his job is a ministry. And even if he is working a long, hectic day he always checks in. When he is home, he is 100% present and attentive to us.
I had my kids before most of my friends, which was hard because I felt like no one really understood what I was going through. They were still going out on the weekends and going on trips with their husbands or friends, while I was probably at home covered in snot and spit up. I wouldn’t change that, though. I met new friends who could relate to parenting struggles, and my old friends still were there for me, played with my kids, and we talk about all the drama on the Bachelor. (Yes, I know, I’m one of THOSE people). There’s something special about seeing little pieces of you and another human smiling up at you. And I’ve been able to be a sounding board for my friends having babies now.
Some days I feel like I’m doing a great job as a parent, and then some days I wonder how my toddler was able to open the front door to let my crawling baby out onto the porch in a matter of 15 seconds of me leaving the room. Whatever the day and trial I am so glad God gave me my little family, and for the blessings he’s given me. Blessings come from our endurance through our faith in trials. In order to get to the highs you experience lows.
For all my mama’s out there—hang in there, you’re not alone. For all you ladies out there getting married or hoping to one day be, marriage is hard, but it is so rewarding when you find someone who isn’t just someone you love but is your best friend.
Written by: Danielle King
