This week’s blog is written by a sweet friend who has been married for ten years after getting married at a very young age. I’m so thankful she wanted to share what she has learned!!
At 18, most people have just graduated high school and are applying or already gotten accepted to college. They’re thinking about the new people they’re going to meet and what the next four years is going to hold for them. At 18, I did graduate high school, but I took a different route than most 18 year olds. I knew at the young age of 16 I had found the person God had picked for me. We decided to get married on August 22nd 2009; just 5 days after I had turned 18!
I’m not going to say it’s been a cake-walk or a fairy-tale marriage because it has not; but I get asked a lot if I regret getting married that young and I do not! I was able to go through “firsts” with my best friend by my side. We were able to experience paying bills, getting our first place, purchasing our first car-TOGETHER! We didn’t have to go through anything alone. With that being said, were we “ready”? Absolutely NOT! We were just kids who thought we knew it all! We were about to get slapped in the face by the real world! Marriage is not how they portray it in the movies or Tv shows, because they only show the good parts, they don’t show the 1st year fights, the 1st year anxiety over what bills to pay because when you get married at a young age you don’t have a lot of money, or just trying to figure out how to live with another person and get used to their way of living because they don’t want people to know that side of marriage. They want people to see the “everything is all sunshine and rainbows” side. Now with all that being said, I would still endorse marriage at a young age because love knows no age! If you feel you are ready to get married at 18, GO FOR IT! It’s the best decision I ever made!
Some advice I would give to people either thinking about getting married young or are already married at a young age would be:
- Enjoy the time you have together. Don’t rush anything, just enjoy quality time with each other. Put the phones down and turn the tv off and TALK! Get to know each other on a more intimate level.
- PICK YOUR BATTLES! It’s not the end of the world if your husband misses the clothes basket and the dirty clothes end up in the floor. I PROMISE! My mother-in-law gave me that advice on my wedding day and I didn’t believe her, till a couple years ago!
- Don’t stop dating! Plan surprise dates, even if it’s in your own house, cook for each other, and make it special. Even though you are married make an effort. Marriage requires work to succeed, like anything else.
- You all are still kids, don’t try to act like you’re not! Act like kids for as long as you can, do it together! Be completely random and crazy in Walmart at 2am in the morning. If you can be yourself around each other then you have it made!
- Eat the burnt cooking. Trust me it’s not a fight you want to have… it will get better, I promise!
- Above all else, keep GOD at the center of your marriage. He brought you two together, so pray together, read the Bible together, do devotionals together. Make that a date! It pleases God when he sees us doing these things. Make sure you pray together about the big decisions in your lives.
- Know that in the difficult times you can lean on each other as well. Those wedding vowels say “in sickness and in health, through good times and bad times as long as you both shall live”, not till you get sick of each other or when it gets hard. Marriage is a covenant from God between a man and a woman and it should be taken seriously.
I’ve learned so much in our first ten years of marriage!
I’ve learned how to cook.
I’ve learned what it means to be a wife biblically-speaking; it’s not just about me anymore… I now have a partner for life.
I’ve learned that once we got married we were no longer two people, we are one.
I’ve learned patience because when you start living with another person you have to learn they weren’t raised like you were. You have to adjust the way you were brought up and so do they; it’s a perfect balance you need to find. Once you find it, things will be easier than they were before.
I’ve learned when things get hard, DON’T GIVE UP! My husband says if you get up early and work hard for your job, why not work hard and make an effort for your marriage? When you go through difficult times together it makes you stronger as a couple and it will prepare you for things to come.
I wouldn’t change anything about my decision to get married at a young age. It made me who I am today and I have a best friend to go through all of life with. A lot of people say I missed out on the “fun” years, but I feel like I am still in my “fun” years because I get to experience life with my husband at my side. It makes things so much better when you have somebody to experience milestones in life with rather than random people coming in and out of your life.
Written by: Jessica Brewster