From before I should have, I just had a weird feeling I was pregnant. As soon as I could, I took a little test to confirm my suspicion. And since we have shared that news, I have been shocked by the response of some who don’t know us well.
We’ve heard the superstition that as soon as you adopt you will stop stressing and get pregnant. We’ve heard so many congratulations (which we really do appreciate!) from people who just assumed Sonya was our last resort option when I couldn’t get pregnant. I have never struggled with infertility, so I cannot pretend to understand the pain of what that feels like, so I won’t try. But what I will do is share that adoption wasn’t a back-up plan for us, and it shouldn’t be for you either.
If you open your Bible to the glossary or go to you search tab on your Bible app for the verses about orphans, I guarantee you will not see: “Take care of orphans when you cannot have your own children because if you wait long enough you will find a cute newborn to take home.” You will not see, “fill the earth with children, but when I don’t bless you with that, you can always adopt as a last resort.”
James 1:27 says: “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
I used to try to justify that adoption and foster care isn’t for everyone, and then a good friend of mine reminded me rather frankly that it isn’t for everyone; but it is something that is expected if you are a follower of Christ.
If we had waited to see if God would bless us with biological children, I’d hate to think of where our little foster love would’ve ended up and how different our lives would be without Sonya.
We opened our home to foster children as a temporary plan until I could financially stay home and we could have kids, but I am SO glad that God had other plans and brought Sonya into our family.
It is my hope and prayer that instead of viewing adoption as a secondary option to grow a family when other plans don’t work out, as Christians we will each open our heart and our homes to the orphans that God has called us to take care of.
Adoption shouldn’t be a means to grow our family when we think that’s what we need, but rather a means to give refuge to the orphans who need us.